Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
