12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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