my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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