from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
