How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
