I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
