margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize
