Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
