...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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