At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
