Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Sober January is a disaster.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Randomize
