He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just gift wrapped bread.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
