your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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