This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
