No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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