i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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