Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
