Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
