Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
