Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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