Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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