I hate all girls vehemently.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
