After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
