he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
