they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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