is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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