If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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