i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
