You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
