Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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