just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
