i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
