How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
