This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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