she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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