i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
