Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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