really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
