There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
you will always have a special place in my vag
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
