so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
