Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Say something about gay babies.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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