I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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