I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
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