I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
