Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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