I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
