i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
