We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
