oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
