Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
