So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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