I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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