college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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